Tuesday, February 11, 2014

My Son

I would like you to know a little about each of my kids. Naturally I will start with my son.

Jareth was a complete surprise to us. I had just turned 19 when I discovered I was 9 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend (now husband) could not have been more excited, but I will admit that I was less than pleased. When I first found out that I was in fact pregnant I slumped into one of my regular depressions. Laying in bed, not eating, nearly comatose, except for having to go to work every day which I could not back out of. I lost 15 pounds in that first week.

Then I went in to find out how far along I was and figure out doctor's visits and health care. I got to see my little "bean" on the screen above me and suddenly I was in love. The mother part of me, the one that had been there all along just waiting for an excuse to really shine, came out full force. I got excited!

On December 20th I hastily wrote out essays for final exams, laid down in the back seat of my mother's car, and headed home from Indiana, back to Texas to have the baby with family and friends. The plan was always to get through a semester with help and then go back to school in IN where my friends were all eagerly awaiting to help with the little person they watched grow on the sono pictures. That never happened, but I have remained friends with a lot of them and they have followed Jareth's life on Facebook as if they were a part of it.

On January 1st I woke up at 3 AM from Braxston-Hicks contractions, and being a first-time, young mother I woke my boyfriend and stepmother with the belief that it was time. After we walked the hospital three times and they realized I was just dehydrated, they sent us home. I was woken up from a nap with severe back pain that I tried to ignore. "G, either this is it or something is wrong." I told him and my father rushed us to the hospital to meet up with my stepmother who had just got off work.

Finally! At 11:30 that night, with a room full of people waiting for him, Jareth decided to go ahead and make an appearance. He had the cord wrapped around his neck, however, and was not breathing. G and I locked eyes and waited to hear something from the group of nurses huddled around our little boy. Finally, a little whimper made its way to our ears.
I will never forget the extreme feeling of calm that I felt as I waited for that sound. Blame it on the drugs if you want, but I felt my god and goddess there by my side, reassuring me that everything was going to be fine. And it was.

We got to hold him for all of two minutes before they took him to the NICU for the night. Where he defied every nurse by rolling onto his stomach in a stubborn insistence to sleep face down. They even brought G in to see it while I slept, showing him how special his son already was.

Well, Jareth never slept on his back, no matter how many times we turned him over. He was always very quiet, often playing in his crib for lengths of time until someone went to see if he was awake yet. He takes his time in figuring things out. He has always listened, picking up words and meaning long before most people think he should. I sometimes believe he has better grammar than most adults I know. We have always treated him like an adult, never lying to him when he asks a question.

Jareth is an old soul, I saw it the moment I held him in my arms and looked into those beautiful blue eyes. Eyes that now range from blue with flecks of brown to green depending on his mood. And he continues to amaze me and make my heart smile.

I always say that Jareth was never a mistake. He was a choice, we choose to keep him. It took us 3 years to get pregnant with our next one once we finally decided to try to have another baby. And I did the math, G and I were together for 3 years when we got pregnant with Jareth. So it was the same amount of time, we just didn't know we were trying yet. But the gods did. And I thank them everyday for that.

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